I can’t sleep. I am in a bit of a conundrum.
Today was weirdly emotional for me. Not in like a break-down crying way. But inside, I was jumping from nervousness to doubt to excitement, then joy, then a little fear, and overall confusion.
What is going on? I’ll tell you.
India is throwing a few curve balls at me. Testing me. Turning the heat on (literally it’s so hot here now). Trying to see if I will run home or if I will stay. First there was that food poisoning. Followed by some crazy rash aftermath. Nausea, ok, I get that sometimes. Rash? Never. The most uncomfortable four days of my life. Imagine the palms of your hands on fire! Killing me softly. Ugh.
Don’t worry or be grossed out, I’ve been drugged on antihistamines all week so I am back to normal.
Then mosquitoes. They just love me so much. I must be like chocolate cake or In-and-Out burger to them. Well you know what India, at least, I have stop counting my mosquito bites. Huge step up from a few months ago. Take that.
THEN, the head secretary at the Iyengar yoga center…He told me to take admission for next year as a student – he’s the main man there after Guruji Iyengar himself. A ticket for a lifetime of classes at the greatest yoga institute ever. Whoa. What’s more, my teacher suggested I move ahead from the 2 years of compulsory beginner level classes. I’ve done only two months! All these things are just unreal. Happening so fast. How could I pass up this opportunity?
I was just reading over my previous post of when I first got admission into the institute, and how lost I had been before that…where to go, what to learn, no friends, etc. Now I am learning a ton at the greatest source of yoga, know all the yoga teachers in Pune, I am running a studio here, and I am finally finding the stability and control in my body. Did you know, I actually get yelled at every Tuesday for being too flexible? My teacher yells “Madam New York, you are overdoing it!!” No one ever yells at me, so the criticism is a great new thing. Totally changing the way I think about and do poses.
Today was the sign up day. Pallavi just decided to come along with me for some reason. So glad she did. The little place was packed on Monday morning – people skipped work for this! I ran into anyone and everyone connected in the Pune yoga world. The computers kept crashing and there was no sense of a line…this is India. We finally managed to wiggle our way into the 8th spot when someone started to organize us. My turn took two minutes. Name. Number. Photo. Classes. Payment. Bam. Enrolled for one year. June to April. No questions asked. I was ecstatic.
And then I also started to freak out a bit…wait, one year?
My life is about to change. Change causes all these new problems that we must deal with. It’s uncomfortable because humans, or at least me, myself, love to form little pockets of comfort zones. As fast as possible. Habits, things we get used to, routines, like my morning tea break at dawn with Pallavi on the side of the road before yoga.
Then when it’s time to change all these things, we feel some resistance and a little lost. Now, I have to find a more permanent place to live. I have to learn how to drive. I have to start thinking about maybe making some money through teaching, rather than just living in my lalala yoga land. I have to train and train and train, as I will be starting to perform yoga demonstrations here. I have to get used to the idea that I will be away from America for a while longer. Hmm.
Home. I really miss home. I was skyping with mom yesterday and saw the gigantic box of strawberries on the counter. We live in Ventura County, home of the biggest sweetest most wonderful strawberries. We have a strawberry festival every year in May. In fact, my high school was surrounded by strawberry fields. After track practice, we’d stop to pick up strawberries from Conroy farms and eat them the whole way home, while mom yelled at us because they weren’t washed. Good days. I miss those.
Aparigraha means unattachment. I always have to remember to practice this yogic principle in my life. It really saves a person a lot of internal chaos.
Thank goodness my dad is on his way to me right now from the Bombay airport. I am supposed to be sleeping until he arrives, but the way this is going, looks like I might just stay up and have a sleepy Tuesday tomorrow. My dad will help. Maybe not by solving MY problems, but by shaking everything up here, so that there are bigger and better things to worry about.
Mom was going to come too, but she hurt her back the other day while trying to lift Luke into the car. He loves care rides but his legs aren’t so strong anymore, so I guess when mom was lifting his backside in, she sprained her back. Luke and his big fat bum. Always causing trouble. Send some good thoughts for a speedy recovery her way.
So let’s see what happens. I’m going to stop fretting and just let life play out as its supposed to. Whew. Life. Never stops getting interesting.
Miss you all.
P.S. I have eleven mosquito bites.
- Aunty Bessy’s Peanut Curry
- Great lady of India from America