Today, like any normal day, my eyes flicker open at 5:45. As usual, I grate ginger and crush cardamom into a pan and wait for it all to infuse together as I survey the forecast outside my kitchen window. When I lift upward on the window pane, a cool, moist breeze seeps past. It is drizzling. Like any normal day, I drink my tea by that kitchen window in the quiet of others’ sleep.
My practice this morning involves some of my favorites, virabhadrasana one, chair backbends, and of course sarvangasana. This is what I plan to teach later. It sure is nice to practice in the rain for a change.
You know, the fact that I am headed across the world later this evening doesn’t seem to phase me today. Thank goodness for that.
This morning, finally, I feel calm, I feel good. I know this because the corners of my eyes and the space behind them is soft.
Yesterday and the days preceding, this was not the case. Perhaps the heat wave, the time available to pack and repack things, to seal and reopen things, all goodbyes, put me into a craze. Why am I going? Should I be going? What am I doing? Will I be ready in time? What if I catch dengue again? The worries swallowed me. For the first time in a long while, I had unreasonable headaches, short tempers (sorry Mom), and the inability to sit still. Good old attachment, fear, and ego at it again.
I must admit, it is very easy to get up and leave when life is unpleasant.
It is much harder to leave when things are going well.
Oh summertime in Boston has been so lovely! I’ve been teaching and watching my students transform, which is really cool.
I’ve been testing the waters in my own practice with new adventurous poses, like Mandalasana.
I’ve been volunteering at the hospital which nourishes my heart.
And I’ve been frequenting the pond often – Jamaica Pond – watching the menagerie of people that tour its perimeter, from serious runners and real fisherman, to mothers, picnickers, to kids playing Pokemon-go. (Pokemon-go is serious stuff.)
Yes, it has been great. Many parts of me do not want to leave.
However, the fact of the matter is that my heart has already flown to India. For the last three months, I’ve been waking up and hearing India in the birds’ chatter. I smell it in the evening heat. I feel it on my skin. Memories of spontaneity, warmth, and chaos have filled me often.
Yesterday I laughingly thought of Mr. Waghmare, the
rather very round man from BSNL that once came to fix the internet connection. I remember how I nervously waited below, preparing myself to catch him somehow if he lost his balance as he huffed and puffed to climb up the rickety ladder to reach the cable box. He never did fix our internet.
Gosh I am excited all of a sudden as I write. Excited for the adventure that has already begun. Excited for the experiences I have yet to taste. Excited to see people I love and to meet new ones that will become loved ones. Excited to read the Times of India newspaper, especially the horoscope section by Anupam Kapil. He is always spot on, as Paul Hollywood would say about a perfect bake.
Yes it is about time to shake me out of the comfort zone that I have nestled so sweetly into here in Boston.
Yes it is a good opportunity to widen my eyes and ears and limbs and tastebuds.
Yes, it is a perfect time to have the carpet pulled from beneath my feet. India can do that, you know.
Well I have a few hours left to go before my flight. I think I am going to spend them in a pretty normal way. Although I wonder what types of movies they will show on the plane, and I wonder if I will sit next to anyone fascinating, and I do hope they have good food. This is going to be fun.
peace and love,
- Sweet Truffles.